Some things are better left unsaid
Being able to keep quiet: just shut up
Talking is silver, remain silent is gold. A well-known wisdom that few people adhere to. Many speak without a period or comma. Silence is a foreign word and people talk nonstop, even when there is nothing to say. Chatterboxes are not doing themselves or others a favor. But silence is an art in itself. Those who manage to master these can look forward to some advantages. We show why silence is so difficult, why it is worth working on and in which situations you should keep your mouth shut ...
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
Without words: the art of being silent
It is a mistake to try to impress people with too many words. Apparently Abbé Joseph Antoine Dinouard already knew this, who wrote a work about it in 1771 The art of keeping your mouth shut composed. Unfortunately, not everyone follows this attitude and some talk like a waterfall. The big problem: if you talk unnecessarily much, you don't necessarily say more than others and almost never achieve the effect you hoped for.
There is research showing that the attention Your counterpart drops after just ten seconds. Long monologues? Hardly anyone wants to do that in a conversation, after all, it shouldn't degenerate into a lecture.
- After 60 seconds most begin to think about what to answer.
- After two minutes Nobody really listens to you anymore anyway. In any case, a supposedly affirmative "Mmh" is a sure sign of this.
On the other hand, those who can remain silent and are consciously stingy with words only make each and every one of them more valuable, increase the attention that is paid to them and make people think for a long time about what might still be between the lines.
Very few people can take long pauses in a conversation. Instead, they fill the silence nervous with all sorts of comments and so often reveal their own weaknesses and even disenchant themselves. The technology is also used in job interviews.
Sometimes HR managers are specifically silent for some time to see how candidates deal with it. Simply starting to talk without any sense or understanding is completely wrong here. Being able to endure silence and silence shows self-confidence and control over the situation.
However, silence is the same as with everyone Tactics: You should vary it from time to time. It also depends on the goal pursued. A torrent of speech can numb one's attention and distract from the real problem. In addition, you remain more difficult to assess if you are sometimes silent and sometimes talk a lot more. That arouses interest and makes you curious because you cannot be seen through.
Silence is gold: if you talk too much, you harm yourself
Imagine you are sitting in an airplane and the captain answers from the cockpit with the following announcement: Unfortunately, our landing will be delayed a little. But don't worry, we still have fuel for about an hour. Well thank you! At least now everyone on board is worried. You can even assume that from now on every passenger will stare at their watch and that the stress level in the machine will increase with every passing minute.
Nobody wants to hear from an intern: Congratulations, you are my first patient. I am operating on your findings for the first time today!
And nobody would like to hear from the previous favorite chef that he has put a lot of effort this time around. Yes, and what else about the food? Drowned ???
It's not much different in day-to-day work.
Certainly, Communication skills is now an essential strength in the job and an important career factor. Every day we have to formulate, present, criticize and discuss. We talk a lot, but occasionally forget that we are too talk about head and neck can.
Quite a few find, think, think, believe, accept, claim, suggest, suspect and now say so. Above all, they put that I, swirl cascades of words through the air, turning every conversation into Chatter.
It is like this: If you shut up, you have more power.
The artist already discovered the trick Andy Warhol. Shortly thereafter, his interviews were an oracle retreat. He either answered questions vague or ambiguous - but always short. Journalists who interviewed him, on the other hand, did eloquent pirouettes, heightened the often meaningless phrases - only because they believed there must be something profound behind the platitude. It was mostly just blah. Well-dosed, however.
The human tongue is a beast that obeys only a few. She is constantly trying to break out of her cage. Power cannot be given to those who are too generous in their words
Leonardo da Vinci already knew that. And so it is until today: Chatterbox not only have little reputation, they constantly risk, to say something stupid or even dangerous. In short, they easily become idiots.
Staying silent at work: the benefits of not speaking
Communication is important at work, but it would be good for some colleagues to be silent now and then. Especially in stressful everyday work, relaxing silence is a welcome change and a break from overstimulation. Constantly ringing telephones, clattering heels, slamming doors, creaking copiers - many people are exposed to all this and more on a daily basis. If you add constant conversations and non-stop talk, the value of silence increases enormously.
The peace and quiet lets employees switch off, recharge their batteries and open up the possibility of turning their backs on constant stress and noise, at least for a short time.
But that's not all: Silence at work is extremely important, has numerous positive effects and is sometimes even a necessity:
It increases concentration
When silence on the job becomes an absolute exception, the concentration of the workforce suffers. Some tasks require a certain amount of calm and a colleague who cannot stop talking makes concentrated work almost impossible. By chatting others are torn out of their task, it is hardly possible to bring order and structure into your own thoughts and in the end more mistakes are made.
It improves the working atmosphere
Communication in the team is important, but from time to time you have to remain silent so as not to worsen the working atmosphere. If everything is always said that is thought, conflicts can hardly be avoided. In tense and difficult situations in particular, it is extremely important to leave some things unsaid and to keep silent instead of contributing to an escalation.
It makes for better communication
It sounds contradictory, but communication in the workplace actually benefits when there is more silence. Who does not know them, the meetings in which there is an endless amount of talk but ultimately little is said? A lot of time can be wasted on endless talking, but it has nothing to do with good communication. If, on the other hand, what is said is limited to the essentials, the exchange quickly gets to the point and the working time is used optimally - which in the end improves the results.
It keeps trade secrets
Silence on the job is absolutely necessary when it comes to trade secrets. Here, employees are bound to secrecy and are not allowed to simply talk internally to the outside world. Anyone who deals with sensitive information in their job is responsible for carefully weighing up their words before opening their mouth.
Being able to remain silent: things that nobody should say
Oh, if only you would have remained silent ... A thought that comes up again and again. So that your listeners don't think that about you, we have a few examples dangerously loose tongues in the job listed. Or to put it another way: It is better not to say the following things, but keep yourself silent:
The anticipated apology
You are in a meeting and are asked to spontaneously submit a status report on your project. Before you start, please apologize for the fact that you are of course not properly prepared, that you have no documents with you, and so on. Why do you mention that? Should people think: Yes, that's right. The lecture is really crap, but hey, it wasn't prepared either ...? Poor sausage! What really happens is that the audience takes you far less seriously than if you hadn't said anything. Worse still: you miniaturize your own position and the importance of your project in advance. And who knows, maybe you'll rock the meeting too. It's good if it also looks very confident.
The concerns listed
You propose a new project to your boss and are enthusiastic about it. At the same time, however, you also want to document how thoroughly you have thought about it and list all the advantages and disadvantages in minute detail. There is no better way to shoot down your idea. The more detailed you get, the more likely it is that the boss is stuck with the fact that there are at least as many objections to not agreeing with you and rather to shelve the idea right away. Enthusiasm buried, thank you, next suggestion ...
Affirmation after the decision has been made
A classic: The customer has already made a decision, but the salesperson keeps babbling on and on: why the decision was the right one, what advantages the customer is getting, why he was overly intelligent to strike here and now and at all. What is happening? With every sentence the doubts increase. Because every defense is always a possible indication of a guilty conscience. And whoever defends himself even though he has not yet been attacked only makes himself even more suspicious. Many a negotiation was lost in the last three minutes - not the hours before.
The exception moderation
There are people who begin their statements with announcements like: "Let's be honest ..." or "Let's be clear ..." or "Let's not kid ourselves ..." It may be that these announcements actually come true; it may be that they are just empty promises. Blah. In any case, you discredit everything that was said before: It turns into a falsehood, a cryptic gossip or a stupid self-deception. This can be offensive to everyone involved, a verbal affront. But it also raises the question: why not be honest right away, please? Or, to put it more provocatively, is someone like that only honest if he announces it beforehand?
The explained joke
Two hunters meet ... both dead. You understand: Hunter ... shoot ... hit ... dead. Funny. Hahaha. No more?! But why?
There are probably many more situations where it is better to keep your mouth shut. The above are just the tip of the iceberg. But in one word: Psst ...! Sometimes less is more and silence is golden.
Tips: Silence can be learned
Tired of participating in the gossip? If you want to work on your credibility, silence is for you. The above example from Andy Warhol shows that silence is your subsequent Words have a lot more meaning procured than they would have had without a break.
But you take away another effect if you can stay silent for a longer period of time: studies show that people often have a lower capacity to absorb. If you keep silent, your audience will have a chance to do so beforehand To recapitulate what has been said and thus more sustainable.
This has long been true not only for conflict situations, but in general. If you want to learn to be silent, we have these five tips for you.
Draw your attention to the situation in the here and now, listen to yourself: How am I doing right now? What is my impression of the other person's condition? What thoughts and feelings arise in me? Do I know this from other, comparable situations? How did I act and what were the consequences?
Focus on the silence yourself: How are you doing with the longer break? Often, non-stop talking serves only to avoid a (dreaded) break in contact or to be perceived as boring. If these are your fears, you might be able to discuss the silence with the other person.
Hold your breath
And that is meant quite literally. Take a deep breath through your nose and hold your breath as long as you can. Then breathe out slowly through your mouth (with your lips slightly parted). Deliberately repeat the exercise a few times.
Weigh it up
Often you answer without thinking about it - make a resolution to carefully consider beforehand whether you can say something without it having lasting (negative) effects. As with Socrates' three seven above (Is it true? It is necessary? Is it nice?) If it does happen that you catch yourself doing it, interrupt yourself and shout "stop".
Especially when it is important to avoid gossip, it makes sense to distinguish between private and professional matters. Leave out stories about your latest conquest, do not tell about the quarrels with your girlfriend or the like. In general, you shouldn't say bad things about other people.
You don't speak with your mouth full, is it [called. So suck a piece of candy or chew some gum. Incidentally, this increases your intellectual capacity and not only occupies your jaw muscles, but also prevents you from “having to” answer immediately when the person you are speaking to says something.
If it does happen and something slips out of your mind, apologize.
Other readers will find these articles interesting
- Wolverines are apex predators
- What's the best part of brunch
- People have instincts
- There are 2 air forces
- What causes tense eyes
- How do you form an ethnicity
- When did modern terrorism begin in the Middle East?
- How successful is the ICL operation
- What happened to Hitler's body 1
- Does Jeffrey Epstein's death matter?
- Why did the Dvorak keyboard fail
- Why can't India reduce imports from China?
- How can I understand this physical question
- In which German state is Berlin
- Can the universe exist without life
- American democracy is a fiction
- How can innocence affect human life?
- What was a dark moment in history
- IIT is everything for every Indian
- What is an 11kV line
- Why do people idolize talentless celebrities
- Does Caboki really work
- Can Ashkenazi Jews still be considered Levantine?